Originally I thought of calling this post “Why I started Journey of Men” and realized it never started out as such, a blog or idea for something around men and masculinity. Rather, it was a personal sense of being confused, upset and lost roughly 2.5 years ago. Being married with a kid I was looking for some kind of blueprint or schematic plan of what it took to be a good father, husband and man. My default mode took me to what I had learned from men in my life, starting with my father and expanding outwards in concentric circles from there to uncles, cousins, friends, authors, men in media, heroes, etc. It always starts with the father, there seems to be an unquenchable father hunger amongst men, which is a subject I intend to dive into in another post. While I was clear that I wanted my wife and I to feel equal in the marriage and in life, a part of me secretly wished for her to be more traditional and gladly take on more of the household chores and raising of our first daughter. I sought a balance of knowing I provided financially for the family but also contributed at home and was there for my daughter. I soon found myself being absent minded, meaning physically present yet mentally checked out thinking about work or thinking if “this” is something I should be doing. “This” being whatever I thought should have been a woman’s job, a wife’s duty, a mothers pleasure: changing diaper, getting up at night, prepping lunch, doing laundry, cleaning the home, doing the dishes. Look, I am not proud to admit that I had a dated software running in the back of my mind…..I’m being transparent and honest, and not necessarily feeling at ease about it. I wanted to be a modern man which to me meant being sensible yet strong, fearless yet vulnerable, provide yet asking for help, surrender yet have all the answers, etc.
One night, after a few drinks in me and a drag on a joint, I posed a question to our guests at a dinner party we were hosting: “Hey guys, what does it mean to be a man? I mean, aren’t we doing alright? The world wants us to be traditional when convenient and modern when we cross a line we never agreed to in the first place”…silence, then a reply “Man, are you high?”. Me: “Perhaps a little, but the question still stands”
One if our friends, Jack, challenged me on the spot and said something along the lines “Maybe you should ask yourself these questions, not us. You might be struggling with your own manliness and what it means to be a man”
Dammit. He was right.
Since then I have been on my own journey which involved studying texts (both older and new age), reading up on archetypal psychology, engaging various mythologies and always looking for ways to get clearer on how I can embrace my own masculinity more authentically and live more in truth, free from fear, anger or doubt. As I got clearer on what it meant to me, other men started asking me questions which translated into occasional coaching clients for which I am immensely grateful, not because of the money or notoriety. It’s because I got to spend time in nature working with other men and along the way learned so much from them. This eventually lead down a path of hosting monthly gatherings for men at the La Maida Institute in North Hollywood, CA – a fine healing organization that my friends Omid and Alexis Naim founded in 2015.
More recently I have taken men on journeys to discover themselves, their core values, their ancestral masculine archetypes and helped them with practical tools to integrate their discoveries into their lives.
JourneyOfMen.com came to me as an idea one night around 3am so naturally I had to get up and see if the domain was available….funny how everything starts with a domain. It was available and here we are.
The purpose of this site is for me to continue to write content that hopefully contribute to other men’s journey and more importantly hear back from you, the reader, on what else should arise out of this blog that’d be helpful: videos, webinars, classes, gatherings…to name some ideas. I’d like for this to be community driven and I serve its members as a conductor if you will, doing my best to provide relevant content at the right time.